Story time

So I dated this boy that I thought I was in love with once. He rushed things suuuuper fast and was waiting for me after my last serious boyfriend left me so yeah…

Anyway, I was real nice to this guy, I tried my best to be sweet to him and not smother him or tell him what to do. He ended up breaking up with me via text, not even a hint of reason, and I didn’t freak out and cry and blow up his phone and shit. I calmly asked why and said “just promise we’ll talk on the phone when you get home”. He promised, didn’t, actually stopped talking to me all together. So there I was, just got left by the new guy who promised me he’d never hurt me blahblahblah [you know that bullshit every guys promises/says] after getting left by someone else.

So my self esteem was pretty much at 0% and he didn’t give a fuck.

Eventually he started texting me again like nothing ever happened, whatever. I kept avoiding him and when he’d question me on it, I’d tell him that I couldn’t talk to him until he gave me closure; a reason for leaving me. He kept telling me there really was no reason whatsoever.

I called bullshit.

So after like ages later, I think he coaxes my stupid girl mind into wanting to talk to him again, then I snap back to reality like, nope. You hurt me. [Yeah, go me for having that little reflex that pops up when I get stupid] and eventually one of my “Why’s” got answered. He finally told me that he broke up with me because he “thought” he wanted to be with someone else, but was wrong.

What in the fuck?

Yeah, so I flipped a bitch and wasn’t mad. But it was one of those perfect times in life where you just have all the right words coming out of your mouth that normally wouldn’t come out in a situation where you want to get a point across so bad. [God, kill my run-on sentence curse]

I just felt a lot better with that closure. It kills a persons mind to do something and never give them a reason when they deserve to know.

So needless to say I stopped talking to the guy all together. He had already deleted me from fb and everything so I didn’t need to deal with that bullshit. Aaaaaaaand I hadn’t talked to him since… Until today.

He added me and I was like “K, I’m over it. I’m super happy now and I really don’t care anymore.”

[Oh, and basically, as soon as we stopped talking, James came back into my life and it couldn’t have been better timing, really. Which is where the next part comes into place.]

So he imed me on fb chat and it was our same out sarcastic mean talk. Him calling me gay, telling me he’s gonna beat me up, silly talk. Whatever.

Then he gets all serious on my ass and this happens:

Him: I know I probably don’t have to do this… but I’m sorry for everything.

Me: you don’t have to do anything. Honestly, if anything, I should be thanking you. I mean, not in a mean way. I love you and all. [note, in a friendly friend way] I don’t regret things. But as soon as everything with us was over, someone came back into my life and if I were still wrapped up in stuff with you, I wouldn’t have ever let this happen. But I’m really happy now. I’ve moved to New Orleans and I’ve got a wonderful boyfriend sleeping in the other room who treats me so well and makes me happy.

I’m just lucky.

Everything happens for a reason, and clearly we don’t hate each other. So I’m glad you’re not gone forever and I was able to be happy.

Him: I’m really glad that you’re happy. I always knew you deserved better.

Me: I don’t think that’s true. I mean, I don’t deserve what I’ve got now. I didn’t deserve you either. But I’m really thankful and appreciative to what I’ve got. So I think that stands for something. and thank you. I know you wanted me to happy. it means a lot.

Like… what? Tbh, I really do think everything happened for a reason. I’m where I’m supposed to be in life. I went through some shitty stuff and some good stuff in the past few years, just for it to build up to this and more. I really don’t “regret” things because if it weren’t for all of it, I wouldn’t be here. All that shit with Tom, all of my other stupid relationships that never went anywhere, every lie, every broken promise, every thing I’VE done to fuck up. It all taught me a lesson.

Shitty situations have taught me things like:

  • love even when you want to fight
  • sometimes it’s better just to shut the fuck up than to keep a stupid argument going
  • don’t give up even if that’s the easiest thing to do
  • just because someone fucked you over doesn’t mean you did anything wrong
  • don’t let things get boring
  • make things special as often as you can
  • random acts of kindness are appreciated more often than not
  • if something doesn’t feel right, it’s not
  • appreciate what you’ve got, all of it
  • change isn’t always bad
  • sometimes things are just… worth it
  • trust is a beautiful thing, especially mutual trust
  • don’t ever feel bad for being happy
  • anyone can change
  • and so so much more
  1. kjrstnlzbth said: This was a really good thing for people to read because it is entirely true. A lot of times, really great things come out of shitty situations like this.
  2. keriapplesauce posted this

NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY